itsmylifeeee:

rebel—belle:

this is probably the single most amazing thing I have ever seen.

This is why biology interests me so much I mean LOOK AT IT.

i just stared at this for the longest time.

this needs more notes.

Totally agree with the person above, this is amazing.

i watched it at least 10 times! O.o

And people ask me why I take biology? It’s FULL of natural wonders. It’s just amazing.

“Science makes everything sound painful, Spongebob”

-Sandy Cheeks

I guess it also makes everything look painful. o.o

(Source: fckyrwrld, via c4tw-man)

collegehumor:

Starfish Chills Out

Hey, bro, pull up a rock and chillax for a while.

This week, I didn’t take a photo because I feel ugly and I ate alot of pizza for lunch! Instead, I bring you this.

I took this several weeks ago at the gym. The reason I’m so far away from the glass is cause everything reeked of dried piss. As of this week, I’m 219.

Pretty much me on my Monday diet-breaks.

(Source: , via c4tw-man)

(Source: greatclassicmovies, via thefaggotmonster)

I was the spinning image of Ralph when I was a young boy. Still sorta am.

(Source: , via thefaggotmonster)

Oop, looks like I forgot to post an update yesterday. Dameth upon me, bad! Well here ya’ go, today(yesterday, I mean) I am 221. I’m beginning to run out of t-shirts to pose for these. Off to the local town thrift shoppe. Away!!!

night1703:

This is me in any existence of time.

(Source: merverb)

comedycentral:

In my daily searches for Futurama fan art, I’ve seen plenty of discomforting images of Fry and Leela making a baby, but I think this might be the first time I’ve seen anyone imagine the results.

After being presented with the rendering of Fry and Leela’s daughter by Redditor Doodlescoop, the denizens of r/futurama were so impressed they requested a brother for her, and Doodlescoop was kind enough to oblige.

I love this so much!!

Well it seems that wherever I go, there seems to a girl of immaculate beauty that I turn into the Most Awkward Man In The World when I’m around. It’s like I’m in a perpetual porno everywhere I go, only stopping right before the point that makes porn awesome… I mean, what’s porn? Is it like corn, but already popped like a new fangled abbreviation. It sure sounds good. At work, there’s this one girl that works hardlines in the department right in front of the check lanes; she is one of these damned women-folk. As it so happens, I ended up in a situation where her and I were alone by work of serendipity(on that note; is there any place in a sentence, besides the last word, where that word could be correctly used without making a declaratory statement of what it means?). Well, where was I? Oh yes, her and I. We somehow got our break schedule set up to the exact same time, so we ended up in the same measly room alone for at least fifteen minutes. Being a half a tard in these situations, I was put into a position where my mouth was agate yet words were having a hard time escaping me. Maybe hello would’ve sufficed as a conversation starter but, oh right, I’m incredibly stupid! So I just pander around intervals of open-mouth/closed-mouth time until she looked at me with a perplexed expression. I tried the whole “play it cool” approach by making it seem as though I hadn’t been glancing at her for the last moments of what felt like an eternity. She started off an extremely short conversation by asking me,

“Hey, what’s your name again?”

Let it be known, she’s asked me this question on two different occasions and I’ve a clear nametag pinned to my shirt.

Me: “It’s John.”

Her: “Oh… you’re bleeding. I didn’t know if you knew that.”

Time for context. This should show how much emphasis should be put on the ‘young’ portion of the phrase ‘young adult’ to me. I’m still fairly new to the concept of shaving on a daily basis, so I’m prone to cutting myself. When I shave behind the ears, I don’t even notice I’ve nicked myself until a small tear drop of blood appears in the reflection. To someone who hadn’t been focusing on me, it would appear on first glance that I’d just started bleeding.

Me: “…Thank you.”

What could I say to save my ass at that point?

Nah, that’s from this morning. I’m perfectly fine.

Nope, I’ve unknowingly made a jackass of myself and opening my mouth any further would fuel the fire. So I went to clean off the dried trickle and immediately returned to work. God damn… she was sure cute.

As of this morning, I weigh 223 pounds. Now for some info on the shirt. I bought it purely out of spite because a friend just loves the kingdom hearts series and I’ve only played half a sequel.

EEEeeeeeee!!!!!

I guess this can be a continuation from my previous post, so prepare for ‘Small Odyssey: Part Douche’ (Which was ultimately unflattering to the previous canon and was met with terrible reviews). Well, as I visited my friend on the college campus, we ate a bag of puffy hot cheetos, as she has some sort of weak stomach lining and could die from eating regular hot cheetos or whatever. On my way home, a stir became apparent in my midsection. Not a good stir, like I’m feeling particularly happy, but a bad stir, like “Jesus H. Heist, I’m gonna crap my pants!” With a good hour’s drive between campus and home, I squirshed the cheeks together and bit down on my lip, some bumpy roads were ahead. Thankfully, I made it home just before a photo finish. Next day, today, but earlier in the day, it’s almost tomorrow right now. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, today I woke up to find that my truck wasn’t working quite right. “Oh balls, what a joy.” I angrily say as I roll up to my work ten minutes late. It’s the alternator, it’s been all sorts of f’ed up ever since some hoods went and nicked the truck for an afternoon drive to the county waterfalls a month back. We thought it would be working perfectly after a shady bunch went and presumably fixed it, but no, the duct tape must have melted away in the long drive. To put a kabosh on the merry-o day, I have diarrhea. Oh joy!